“Trading Places”
Click below to download the Cornerstone Connections leader’s guide and student lesson. This week’s resources also include two lesson plans and a discussion starter video which offer different ways of looking at the topic. Each lesson plan includes opening activities, scripture passages, discussion questions, and real-life applications.
To be compassionate is to have a keen sympathy for the suffering of others. What does being “clothed with compassion” look like?
SCRIPTURE PASSAGE
OVERVIEW
What would it be like to find oneself a prisoner? What if you hadn’t committed a crime? In our passage today, Paul finds himself a prisoner in Rome. Due to his age and infirmities, he needs plenty of help to write, prepare food, and carry on the work God has called him to do—enter Onesimus! Grab your scuba tank, mask, and fins as we dive deep into this passage. Don’t worry, no scuba training is necessary and we will perform the required safety stops on the way up.
OPENING ACTIVITY:
WHO AM I?
Supplies: Paper and writing utensil
What is a coat of arms? A coat of arms is a pictorial guide to who you are. It’s a visual representation of you. Using the following questions, draw a coat of arms that shows who you are.
1. What is your favorite hobby or sport?
2. What is the food you eat most often?
3. Where were you born?
4. List an activity or trait you are good at.
5. What is your superpower, or what would you like it to be?
QUESTIONS
TRANSITION
Who were Philemon and Onesimus? What great deed had Paul done that enabled him to speak so boldly to Philemon? Who we are and where we come from has a significant impact on our lives, which you will discover in today’s story.
BIBLE STUDY GUIDE
Read Philemon 1:1-25.
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker—2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Paul’s Plea for Onesimus
8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
12 I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.
22 And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
QUESTIONS
APPLICATION
This story is about more than slavery. It’s about redemption and being treated better than one deserves. Onesimus, by law, was property—he was owned by someone else. Somehow, sometime, he decided to run away. By running away, he was breaking the law and was punishable by its terms—up to and including death. Somehow, he meets up with Paul who helps him change from being useless to useful. Paul recommends to Philemon that not only should he accept him back without punishment, but that he should treat him as an equal. I don’t know if you’ve caught the major organizing principles here, but it’s like this: Onesimus (you) becomes a slave. Onesimus (you) run away seeking a better life but finds himself (yourself) in trouble. Onesimus (you) changes, with help from Paul (Jesus). Paul recommends to Philemon (God) to accept him (you) back (salvation). This story brings hope of a better life and future. Over and over in scripture God tells the story of salvation in different ways so that everyone will hopefully be able to recognize His plan and want to follow it.
FOLLOW UP
What is your favorite story of redemption in scripture? Can you picture yourself in place of the one being redeemed? There are several stories to choose from. Don’t sell yourself short, Jesus loves you more than you can imagine. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you aren’t worthy. Jesus paid the price on the cross so that you don’t have to listen to those other, accusing voices anymore.
SCRIPTURE PASSAGE
Philemon 1:1-25
LEADER’S NOTE
For a Relational Bible Study (RBS) you’ll want to get into the Scripture passage and encourage the youth to imagine participating in the story while it’s happening. Then you will be able to better apply it to your own situation today.
You will need to ask God for the Holy Spirit to be present as your small group discusses the questions (no more than 3-6 people in a group is recommended). Start with the opening question. It is a personal question and the answer is unique for each individual. There is no right answer and nobody is an expert here, so don’t be surprised when you hear different responses. You are depending on the Holy Spirit to be present and to speak through your group. Say what God prompts you to say, and listen to what others share.
Take turns reading the chapter out loud. Follow that with giving the students some time to individually mark their responses to the questions (a PDF version of the handout is available as a download). This gives each person a starting point for responding when you start to share as a group. Next, begin the discussion by asking the students to share what they marked and why on each question as you work your way through. Feel free to take more time on some questions than others as discussion warrants.
Encourage each person in the group to apply what is discussed to their personal lives and to share with the group what they believe God wants them to do. Then ask them to pray that God will help each of them to follow through in doing so. Remind them to expect that God will show them ways to live out the message of this passage in the coming week, and that they are free to ask others in the group to help hold them accountable.
OVERVIEW
On Paul’s third missionary trip, he went to Ephesus, where he spent about three years (compare Acts 19:10 with 20:31) making Ephesus his center of ministry, but extending its reach throughout the area, including Colossae.
Paul later wrote the book of Colossians to believers when he was in prison in Rome. That book includes passages such as Colossians 1:4-6 (NLT):
For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News.
This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
At the same time that Paul sent this letter to the church in Colossae, he also sent a personal letter to one of the wealthy church members, Philemon, whose runaway slave had come to know Paul in Rome. Paul added a second letter, a personal one, addressed just to Philemon, asking him to take back Onesimus without punishment for running away.
Paul had Tychicus deliver the letter to the Colossians, along with the personal letter to Philemon (Colossians 4:7-9). This includes the statement to the church, “I am also sending Onesimus, a faithful and beloved brother, one of your own people. He and Tychicus will tell you everything that’s happening here” (Colossians 4:9, NLT).
It’s easier to feel sorry for Onesimus if you’re not Philemon. For this RBS (Relational Bible Study), try to put yourself in the place of Philemon as you read Paul’s personal letter after hearing the letter to the entire church in Colossae, and seeing your runaway slave there worshiping with everyone else. What would Philemon do? What would you do?
You Owe Me
Who owes you something? To whom do you owe something?
Read Philemon 1:1-25.
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker—2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
12 I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.
22 And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
1. What gave Paul the authority to request Philemon to forgive Onesimus?
2. Why would Philemon forgive Onesimus?
3. What was Paul asking of Philemon?
4. Why would Paul ask this big favor from Philemon?
5. Why did Paul ask Philemon to keep a guest room ready for Paul?
6. What do you owe?
7. Whom do you owe? How can you pay them back?
8. Who owes you? What would it take for you to forgive their debt?
SUMMARY
There’s no doubt that Onesimus owed Philemon in a big way. The Roman custom and law allowed Philemon to do whatever he wanted to Onesimus, a slave—especially a slave who had run away. But Paul counted on Philemon to live by the kind of grace God gives us rather than the way everyone expects us to live. This would be noticeably different. And yet Paul expected it from a follower of Jesus. Instead of a runaway slave, consider Onesimus your brother in Christ. That’s when you find out if Christ truly makes a difference in your life.
APPLICATION
It might be challenging to talk about treating people so much better than they deserve to be treated, but it’s even more difficult to actually do it. But God has given us Scripture to reveal Himself to us—what He’s like and how He’s treated us. And then He calls for us to treat others in the same manner. Often that is noticeably different than how most people treat others. That’s why Christ gives us the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit so we can live in this Christ-centered way. Here are some ideas for putting this week’s lesson study into action.
Jesus said it succinctly in Matthew 5:44-48 in the context of “love your enemies.” If we treat only our friends well, how are we different from anyone else, including pagans and the hated tax collectors for Rome?
As followers of Christ, we treat people from Christ’s perspective, not simply from their own perspective. Instead of keeping score to note who has treated us well and who hasn’t, we Christians focus on how Christ has treated us, and then we treat others in that way rather than how others might deserve to be treated.
But that requires that we focus on how Christ has treated us rather than how others have treated us. And it includes taking action to pass along to others the grace Christ has given us.
Paul’s letter to Onesimus called for a forgiveness based on what Christ had done for Philemon as well as what Paul had done for Philemon. The forgiveness and acceptance didn’t find its root in Onesimus, but in Christ and in the way Paul related to Philemon. When we have received forgiveness from Jesus, we can then pass along forgiveness to others. If we haven’t received forgiveness from Jesus, then we won’t have it to pass along to others. As Jesus told the healed Pharisee when talking about the sinful woman who anointed Christ’s feet, “Her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little” (Luke 7:46-47, NCV).
The word “compassion” literally means “to suffer with.” It includes sensitive feelings of tenderness, care, and concern. Some people seem to do this better than others. Paul called for Philemon to demonstrate this to Onesimus by accepting him back into his household as a brother rather than as a runaway slave.
